THE SOUND AND THE FURY

Last Monday, Lucia had another of her temper tantrums - a sort of a nuclear explosion of anger, complete with screaming, pounding on the floor, walls, doors, usually a good 45 minutes of pure, unadulterated rage. I have tried everything to deal with them, ignoring them, timeouts, taking away privileges, etc., but nothing seems to really calm her down. And it is really hard to ignore, because I can't get away from her, she follows me around the house, screaming and crying at the injustice she is having to endure. Colin and I usually just have to put up with her until she runs out of fuel for her fire. She is very contrite after one of her breakdowns and realizes that she has behaved unacceptably, but that doesn't stop her from having another one a few days later.

The reason for Monday's tantrum? I had done the unthinkable - told her that she must wash her hands before she helps me prepare dinner. Obviously I ask her to do this every time she helps with dinner, but for whatever reason, Monday it was just too much to abide. The tantrum started out with her screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO WASH MY HANDS!!!!!" But after about 10 minutes or so, it had shortened to "I DON'T WANT TO !!!!!!", which is usually the indicator that she doesn't even remember why she is screaming anymore, but since she is on a roll at that point, she is going to keep going.

As I was doing my best to ignore her during this latest paroxysm, I first thought that I would tell her she wouldn't be allowed to sleep with Colin on Friday night. Her favorite part of weekends is that she is allowed to climb into Colin's bed and the two of them chatter away until they finally pass out. Obviously, this is a no-go on weeknights, as they would never make it to school the next day. So my first instinct was to yank this privilege. However, it was only Monday night, and for a five year old, a punishment that doesn't go into effect until five days later is really not a deterrent. Then I hit on a better idea, I told her that she was going to bed at 7:00pm, an hour earlier than usual, and that Colin would be allowed to stay up, as he had not had a tantrum. I figured that this was especially brilliant as the real source of the problem is usually that she is overly tired. As I said, she is usually quite contrite following one of her outbursts, and I have to say, she accepted her punishment with as much grace as she could muster. The next evening after dinner, she even pointed out to me that she had not had a tantrum all day.

Colin, on the other hand, is a much more serene child. He generally does not explode in a frenzy of wrath of fury. However, he has his moments. Usually they start out by him shouting some syllable that expresses his anger, like "ARRGGHHHHH!! Then he stomps out of the room, throws himself on the couch and cries for about 10 minutes and then it is all over. Amateur stuff, in Lucia's eyes. Well, Sunday morning, he had one of his fits, and Lucia, never one to let an opportunity pass by, asked me, "Are you going to send Colin to bed at 7:00 tonight?"